Growing Up. Then Doing It Again.

I have written about the lessons that I hope young women learn before they launch their adult lives. But many of the lessons that I have learned required successes — and of course failures — as an adult. Today, as a 47 year old women, I am confident enough to admit that there are many lessons that I have yet to learn and mistakes I will make before I learn them.

This is a bit of a life lesson update I suppose. I am not writing for young women today, but rather the women who are experiencing life as a women, with all of its many opportunities and challenges alike. I encourage anyone reading this to add your own lessons learned — because we all need the guidance and experience of others from time to time (well, all the time).

To identify and acknowledge those parts of you that are imperfect is not “talking like a woman.” (My words were once described this way by a young woman who was concerned I was undermining myself). We all — women and men — have strengths and weaknesses. To admit the weaknesses requires the confidence and bravery of experience. The admission frees you to focus on improving where you want to and to seek help from others.

It is a rare person who will ever have many close friends as the years go on. Being a good friend to the few people in our lives who will stick by us through the good and bad is so very important.

Being a good friend means receiving with grace as well as giving with all we have. It is easy to assume we are burdening others when we share our challenges. But seeking and receiving help tells our friends that we trust them and that we need them. To let someone be the giver is a gift and a compliment.

Love is a necessary but never sufficient part of a relationship. Many will love us; far fewer will treat us with love.

Our beauty is never about looking like someone else. It is about looking the best version of us. And that version is the healthy, happy and confident one.

Never wait until it is too late to realize that there are innumerable roads to travel in a life and a course correction is always possible. Life always includes grief, sadness and even despair. But if you have a roof over your head and food to eat, you are one of the lucky ones. We are not given forever so seeking out as many minutes of happiness that we can is the way we can express appreciation for the luck bestowed upon us.

Very few things are impossible. We may not want to do what is required to achieve something (and indeed that may be an incredibly wise decision), but extremely challenging or even frightening is not impossible. There really is a way if you have the will.

Seek out the stories of the people you interact with every day — the cab driver, the sales associate, the dog walker. It will make a huge difference in their day and in yours too. The broader our world, the easier it is to put our own lives in perspective.

Giving absolutely everything you have — to a job, a spouse, a friend — can be the scariest experience ever. And the most rewarding experience ever. It is only by giving everything that you can appreciate the enormity of what you have to give.

The best moment of your life may be in the future. Keep an eye out for it.